Sunday Swoons | Things Girls Do to Their Significant Others (That We Hate)11:59 PM
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THIS WEEK'S TOPIC: Things Girls Do to Their Significant Others (That We Hate)
Just because I'm a complete supporter of all-things-girl doesn't mean I don't want to throttle a few for the unfair way they treat guys.
What is it exactly that I hate about friendzoning? I mean, it's not like a girl can like every guy that likes her. And that's a good thing. But, as a general rule, I stare at it with mistrust and extreme dislike.
And here's why.
Let's set the scene.... this girl and boy have been friends since they were in elementary (and maybe even further back). They've had the best adventures, memories, and stories. They have each other's backs all the time. They know that, even if no one else is there, they will be there to support each other.
And then, the inevitable happens. The guy falls in love with the girl, but the girl doesn't love him. Well, she does, but as a brother. Gosh, think of the sick feeling you would get in your stomach at that announcement if you were in that situation.
I understand though, that these things sometimes happen and that they're fine when they do because sometimes two people don't fit that way (but on another line, how many fictional guy and girl best friends have you actually seen get together and stay together?).
But it's the way the girl usually behaves after the guy tells her he's in love with her that I hate.
Fictional girls have this problem where they think that as long as they've cleared everything up with their guy friend they can go off and get into relationships without another thought. Not only do they usually participate in PDA shamelessly and talk about their dates with their BGF (best guy friend). They also completely expect him to spend as much time with them as always.
This is not fair. It's not fair, girls. The guy's heart is already broken that you think (and always will think) of him as a sibling. Don't rub it in his face that he can never have you no matter how hard he tries.
He needs space and time to get used to the idea that, well, you're not into him. His broken heart needs time to heal. And to not be there if you like another guy.
Yeah, maybe you will be friends through all of that. But you can't honestly believe that everything will be the same. It can't be. Don't be selfish and tell him that you need him.
Just don't. What do you think that's going to do to him? When he loves you and you tell him, I need you but I don't need you enough to be my boyfriend. He has feelings too. You need to be sensitive to those feelings and not treat him like a gadget or toy that you can call on whenever you need.
And for god's sake, don't use him as your "boyfriend" in desperate times that are only desperate because you want to make your crush jealous. You do realize how messed up that is, right? He has feelings. He is not an emotionless robot created to please you.
Be an adult. Be considerate.
Of all the things I hate that are related in some way to friendzoning, this has got to be the absolute worst. Many YA love triangles feature this. It's really common for some reason and I can't stand it.
You've already told your guy best friend that it will never work. You don't like him that way, but then...do you? You find yourself watching him and thinking about his eyes or whatever else. You have a boyfriend.
If you, generic YA female main character, cannot make up your mind on who you like or if you like them then DON'T DATE.
Step back, take a deep breath, discover yourself and find who you are before you get in a relationship. A fulfilling relationship. Because if this is a love triangle, then you're probably having half-relationships with two guys who both like you.
Problem is, you like both of them too.
Don't try to make it work okay. This is going to end up in a situation that sucks very much. Your best friend will be mad at you and heartbroken and you will have lost a really good friend. He may still stick with you, but is your friendship really as strong as it was before? Your boyfriend? Probably not gonna like you too much either. You don't like guys leading girls on? Yeah, okay, practice your own sermons, chica.
If it's the other situation and you're confused about whether you like your guy best friend or not, it does not mean you should do nothing about it and keep sending him mixed signals. Give yourself some space. He doesn't deserve the roller coaster ride that is you trying to figure out your emotions.
Even though this was originally going to be a very calm, logical list of things I hate that girls do-- aspects of friendzoning...I admit it kind of swerved off into "Land of Rants". Oops. It's the thought that counts.
Next week's topic is: Sarcasm in Relationships and Couples