6 Bookworm Cliches (And How They're So False It Isn't Even Funny)5:06 PM
This is a post where I will be de-mything the oh-so-mysterious bookworms who live everywhere only some people don't know that because of the cloud of bookworm cliches floating around the world. (I'm practicing my metaphors, okay? Gosh.)
Note: This is meant to be exaggerated a little bit for comedic relief, that is-- "hilarious." Because I like being hilarious. On the other hand, these cliches do make an appearance and are meant that way, that is "seriously", as well.
1. Not every bookworm wears glasses.
I know this may come as a shock but we don't all wear glasses. I know, I know. You have been lied to. Poor baby. It turns out that some of us wear glasses, some of us wear contacts, and some of us don't need things like that because we have 20-20 vision. *snaps fingers in Z-formation* I'm sorry you had to learn it this way...will chocolate help? (Chocolate helps with everything) You should probably get used to it though because I've heard that we bookworms are geniuses.
2. Bookworms are not geniuses.
We are normal people (for the most part). We just happen to love books as opposed to clothes, sports, or any other "regular" hobbies. If you ask me when the Civil War of the United States started, I will say that it happened sometime in 1861 (I think). I will not know the exact date or *shudders* each and every battle that took place. I don't read history textbooks, I read fiction. FICTION.
3. Bookworm does not equal grinch.
Bookworms are not always serious. In fact, a lot of us have amazing senses of humor (I did point out that I like to be hilarious at the beginning of this post, right?) We don't sit around primly all day, never smiling, pointing out the faults of other people and ruining lives (Well...Only when we're right). We're open-minded because we've seen the world through the eyes of hundreds of people (Yes, I'm referring to reading books). We can make you laugh harder than you've ever laughed before. And if you don't? For real. Now who's the grinch?
4. Not all bookworms drink only coffee and tea because if we did we would die from dehydration.
You're learning a lot aren't you. ;) I know you've heard that there's nothing every bookworm likes more than to have a book in one hand and a cup of coffee or tea in the other. Well, you better check your sources because, once again, false. For one thing, most of us have clumsiness issues and would probably spill whatever we were drinking all over us and the book. Which would be horrifying. Never mind the clothes, our precious book that we spent the last of our five-dollar savings on would be ruined. Secondly, some bookworms don't like coffee or tea. They just don't. Deal with it.
5. Bookworms are not technologically opposed.
It's true. We don't all sit around writing all of our school assignments (and our own works-in-progress because a lot of bookworms write) by hand and banning ourselves from watching TV. In fact, we love movies and TV shows and you can read about that on our Twitter feeds which, by the way, we also use to tell everyone about the new post we have up on our blogs. And if I tried to write a school essay by hand I would never be able to write again, because writing a six-page paper with citations and a reference page is hard enough using a laptop (Yes, we also use laptops). My hands would be crippled. I would no longer be able to hit you with the ginormous hardcover book I keep handy for non-bookworms who don't understand. I'm kidding...
6. Bookworms are not always girls. (this one was submitted by NevilleGirl. thanks!)
Logically, it can be assumed that authors who write fiction love reading in most cases and because of that love (which you don't understand) they decided to make their own utopias, otherwise known as books. Some examples are John Green, Rick Riordan, Markus Zusak, and John Flanagan. Male authors. You know, guys who like reading. Girls are not the only people who like reading.
I shouldn't have had to tell you this since guys also like eating, watching movies...breathing. What makes reading a "feminine" activity? Nothing.
I know this has been a traumatizing experience for you, you poor, poor non-bookworm. But here's some advice from a veteran bookworm to you.